Sunday, April 6, 2008

The "Poop" Project

Yes, you are reading the heading correctly. It was such a nice day outside yesterday, that I figured I better do the job I have been putting off for quite a while now...and it's something that has to be done...Poop Patrol!

I've got three adorable, but sometimes naughty, little pugs. They each have a quirky personality of their own, and during the blustery and snowy winter we were blessed with, the little 'darlings' didn't want to venture far from the front door. So, you can imagine what the grass along the sidewalk leading to our front door looked like! What a wonderful first impression it gave to everyone coming to visit!

So do the math......3 dogs + 5 months worth of 'presents,' = a "s***load" of you-know-what!

Well, I found a pair of rubber gloves and an oversized, empty plastic bag, and outside I went to begin the lovely task. The grass was totally unbelieveable! ...big poop, small poop, fresh poop, decomposing poop, poop on top of the low shrubs, poop under the low shrubs, and poop on the sidewalk! I began the hunt. Donned with my pair of latex gloves, my left hand firmly gripping the big bag, and my right hand ready to pick up the 'treasures,' I started on my search. I'm sure it looked like I was in some weird Easter Egg hunt the way I was scoping out the lawn, looking down at all times, and squatting to pluck the poop and drop it into my bag. I wish it could've been that easy, though. It was incredibly windy out, and the bag was whipping in the breeze like the sails on a boat. Sometimes the poop hit the mark, but sometimes the opening of the bag would blow closed and the poop would plop back on the ground. How frustrating is that??!!! Then folks who lived in the subdivision would drive by, and of course look at me with pathetic but sympathetic looks on their faces, probably chuckling to themselves and pitying me at the same time. They would offer a token wave my way, but I didn't want to even look up to meet their eyes. So I would just give them a slight nod, as if in defeat, and go back to the business at hand.

I was out there for over an hour, and the longer I was out there, the heavier the bag was becoming. I quit carrying the bag, and began to drag the bag behind me as I continued on my quest. I finally finished with the front yard, but knew I still needed to do a section of lawn on the side of the house by the garage. I gave up taking the little puggies in the front for their 'business' weeks ago, because it was like walking through a minefield! Well, that's the side of the house that doesn't get much sun during the day, so these little gifts were wet and mushy...and clinging to the grass! Talk about gross! I managed to finish my task and headed to the garage with the bag, praying it wouldn't break from all the weight inside. I made it inside without incident, but when I began taking off the gloves to toss them in the garbage, I discovered a HOLE in one of the fingers...

of the picking hand!!!

End of story.

1 comment:

Kim Rae Nugent said...

Hi Jill,
There is a wonderful device that picks up poop without using your hands or bending over. It has a handle that you squeeze causing jaws to open and grasp the poop. You can even pick up multiple poops before dumping. A bucket with plastic liner works good. Advice from your local poop expert. I've picked goat poop, chicken poop, rabbit poop, cat poop, horse poop, cockatiel poop, hamster poop, guinea pig poop, and poop that's fallen out of diapers :)